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Findings of a Stupid Man

When my little brother Tom was very young, less than five, a friend of his grew annoyed that Tom wouldn’t share his toy. The boy countered by calling Tom stupid. My brother came home crying. It really affected him, for years. Of course it didn’t help that my brother’s “loving” sibling would bring up this incident time and again. Tom didn’t draw from the good deck when it came to older brothers. I was reminded of this story the other day when my granddaughter suffered through a tragic day at kindergarten after someone called her stupid. That’s a label that really hurts.

For the first forty years of my life I was considered by many to have above-average intelligence. Advanced degrees and numerous successes in the workplace being clear indicators. I could also more than hold my own in Trivial Pursuit.

Then my life changed. I became a Christian. It wasn’t an overnight thing, but a process where I came to the realization that I was living for all the wrong reasons – a boat drifting in a tumultuous sea. The whole ordeal took place over almost two years. It was often painful. And do you know what the hardest thing was for me in this monumental change? Dealing with society as born again believer. I knew I would be labeled as stupid. Yes I know karma suggests I deserved this on some level, but that wouldn’t make it any easier to swallow. If only this was the last time fate came back to laugh at me. Maybe some of those moments can be covered in future postings?

My ego wanted a compromise. Wasn’t there a way to still be smart, acceptable to my scientifically minded peers and yet embrace this new belief that was pulling me in ever-faster? The answer I have discovered over the last ten plus years is no and yes. For many folks religion equals weakness. The opiate of the masses don’t you know. I was destined to wear the identification card, “Hello my name is Leo and I’m terminally stupid.” As an aside, they make these ID cards in different colors and styles so they can go with almost any outfit. At least I can still look good as an idiot. “For a fool, he’s not half-bad looking.”

But I’ve also found a large group of under-the-radar supporters. Some are Christians who wear their ID cards beneath their overcoats. Others accept us as long as we don’t rock the boat too hard. It’s amazing how “acceptable” we Christians become when hard times hit. If a non-believing colleague has just lost a dear one, it’s alright for me to say I’m praying for him, but don’t use the p-word if his trial is limited to his son being bullied, his wife leaving him or if he just received notice that he’s being laid off.

Here are some random things I have ascertained during my transformative period. Please keep in mind this is the work of a stupid man, so don’t expect much here:
• Religious men were once considered the brightest minds in society. Some argue that this is only because the clergy and Biblical scholars were the majority of people who were literate. I don’t bring this up to debate the causality, merely to point out how the pendulum seems to have swung to the other extreme. Such a dramatic shift in society’s appraisal of a group of men feels like it is more based on external factors than actual intelligence.
• The great religious leaders who were once worshiped by society have been replaced by scientists. Although it’s hard to pinpoint a date, some have suggested the late nineteenth century as the beginning of the end of this epoch. Scientists are now treated as the carriers of the Truth. Their work in medicine, chemistry, space travel, and other fields has allowed mankind to surpass numerous monumental hurdles. Traversing these hurdles seems to suggest that we don’t need a Creator. That we have the ability to know everything and given time, solve every problem. The conundrum for me is that I have worked behind the curtain in the applied-science world for over thirty years. Let me bring you in on a secret from back stage. We’re not that good. The amount we know is dwarfed by what we don’t know.
• Having been on both sides of the believers/atheists fence, I have to say the non-believers tend to be much more aggressive about their views. There are of course exceptions and my conclusion is not based on a scientific study. This conclusion is formed through my personal observation of the written and verbal comments of folks when the mere topic of religion comes up. I can say this because I too was guilty of this behavior in my pre-Christian days. Why is this? If we believers are as stupid as the non-believers say, are we likely to become “smarter” because they’re mocking us? Can you shame someone into being more intelligent?
• There actually are some believers who say and do things that are embarrassing to us. We call this spiritual immaturity. Just like there are some adults that never stop acting like selfish kids, there are believers that never seem to quite get it. Maybe they’re a big reason for the anger expressed by the non-believers I mentioned above. If so, I can’t say I blame the agitated non-believers too much. The immature believers can frustrate us too. There is a verse in the Bible that says, in effect, truth shared without love is like clanging cymbals.

I tried to write this post in a fashion that was fair and not overly critical of those who see things differently from me. It would be nice if this writing would generate a healthy, constructive discussion, but such hope would be stupid on my part.

What’s so wrong with Black and White?

Little kids get to say “I hate vanilla” and no one takes issue. We just smile and let them enjoy what they want. Teenagers oscillate between polar opposites with no apparent correlation to anything beyond the direction the wind is blowing. Although frequently annoying, we slough if off to hormones.

Then there are the old farts amongst us. Crotchety old buggers that tell you what they think with nary a filter. Men or women, it doesn’t matter too much. They’re respected because they have been on the planet for so long. Our society gives them the right to say how they feel even if some younger folks might be offended by their unyielding positions.

Those of us located somewhere in the middle are stuck being enlightened and sensitive. We knowingly realize that life is just a bunch of grays – the lines all blurred between right and wrong. God forbid we utter anything that could be hurtful or insensitive. This brings me to two questions that I grapple with:

  1. What if the two bookend groups (children and oldsters) have it right and we informed folk in the middle are full of donkey dung?

I don’t know about you, but when I look at those edge groups they seem a hell of a lot happier than the middles. Their overall stress seems to be lower. Where exactly has our society improved because of our glorification of the principle that everything is acceptable? Nobody wants to step on anyone. We must be all-tolerant and not hurt another’s feelings. All I’m asking is if this is such a good thing, when do we start to see the return for our good efforts?

I know, my critics will say we’re still an intolerant society so of course there are still problems. But with all the media and societal pressures brought on anyone who strays from the bland center, surely we must have become more tolerant than previous generations. So shouldn’t we be seeing some improvements? In the good old USA in the last couple of decades violence has risen, general health has decreased, and new designer drugs keep popping up. Where’s the proof this is the right course?

  1. How old do I have to be before I get to re-join the “call it like it is” group”?

I’m so excited to be re-labeled. I want to go from arrogant, obnoxious jerk to that old geezer who is a welcomed connection to the good old days. Is it sixty-five? Does the government set the age requirement? I have no intention of changing my ways. I’d just like to mark on my calendar when I’ll suddenly become acceptable.

I’m not advocating hurting others for the sake of some twisted pleasure. In fact, those wild stone throwers are some of the ones I’m just itching to mock. I think of them as media-bullies. They’re amazingly fast at throwing the racist, intolerant, insensitive cards at others while they themselves live lives that have a stench worse than three-year old government cheese. I know well their strategy. The best defense is a good offense. Attack others before they can figure out there’s no substance to your being.

Alas, I’m trapped in my mid-fifties and probably out of line for even suggesting that such people exist. I guess I’m destined to sit quietly for another decade, forced to watch the inequities playing out before me. Bliss will have to wait until the 2020’s. Until then I guess I’ll have to settle for writing strong-willed characters that don’t give a rip about what others think. There’s some fun in that, but don’t think I haven’t marked my calendar for the day when my freedom rings.